“The adult survivor of abuse enacting the Victim-Rescuer-Perpetrator triangle is emotionally locked into the child logic of the locus of control shift. The core belief, ‘I am bad,’ gives license to play victim (bad things happen to me because I am bad) or perpetrator (I am bad because I do bad things) rescuer (I am all powerful and so if I try hard enough I can make everything right in my world).” –“Trauma Model Therapy: A Treatment Approach for Trauma, Dissociation and Complex Comorbidity”- Colin A Ross,, M.D., and Naomi Halpern, CQSW.
Of all the books I have read recently, these are my favorites.
What I liked most about Coming Apart is the author’s framing of “failed” relationships not as failures but as developmental tools which promote growth and awareness.
Nostalgia and Human Suffering
“You must always know the past, for there is no real WAS, there is only IS.”– William Faulkner.
I had a spare moment and decided to take the time to create a more substantial blog post- this time on the topic of nostalgia.
We need our memories to maintain a sense of self, to understand and shape our present and to project ourselves into the future. And yet, memories are never factual. They are a narrative co-created by ourselves and our world. More and more, it seems, we are taught, as individuals and as a culture, to replace the reality that does exist in memory with nostalgia.
Nostalgia is defined as “a sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations.” In this way, nostalgia is a longing for a home that never existed since no reality, past or present is wholly happy.