Ester Perel’s new book, “The State of Affairs” is a groundbreaking book on infidelity. Most books on the topic either give advice on how to avoid an affair or deal with the difficult task of putting together a relationship in the aftermath of infidelity. Ester, an expert on the intersection between desire and safety, acknowledges what most people would rather not- the reality that affairs can be BOTH transformative and destructive. She uses her years of work as a couple’s therapist and researcher to delve into the fact that affairs are often not about what’s wrong at home but what’s missing internally.
Ester also has a powerful podcast- “Where Should We Begin” that allows listeners into her real-life couple’s sessions involving infidelity. Fascinating and informative.