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The State of Affairs

Ester Perel’s new book, “The State of Affairs” is a groundbreaking book on infidelity.  Most books on the topic either give advice on how to avoid an affair or deal with the difficult task of putting together a relationship in the aftermath of infidelity.  Ester, an expert on the intersection between desire and safety, acknowledges what most people would rather not- the reality that affairs can be BOTH transformative and destructive.  She uses her years of work as a couple’s therapist and researcher to delve into the fact that affairs are often not about what’s wrong at home but what’s missing internally. Continue reading