Tag Archives: shame

The Real Scoop on Narcissism from Cause to Lived Experience

Narcissism South Lake Union TherapyIn our culture, the term naricissist is used often, informally and carries a pejorative connotation.  Jari Chevalier’s podcast, Living Hero, examines narcissism from all angles and provides a more humanistic perspective on the clinical meaning of the word. Continue reading

Book Recommendations

Book Recommendations

Of all the books I have read recently, these are my favorites.

What I liked most about Coming Apart is the author’s framing of “failed” relationships not as failures but as developmental tools which promote growth and awareness.

Coming Apart South Lake Union Therapy

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Shame- The Atlantic Monthly

Scarlet LetterShame- The Atlantic Monthly

I came across this article on shame by Robert Karen in the bibliography of a presentation on narcissistic wounding and the part it plays in addiction. In his article, Karen includes the historical and social aspects of shame as well as the individual experience. He draws a distinction between “normal” and “pathological” shame.  “Pathological shame is an irrational sense of defectiveness, a feeling not of having crossed the boundary but of having been born there.”

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Breaking the Shame Cycle

shameBreaking the Shame Cycle

Unlike guilt, where one feels one has DONE something bad, shame is the feeling that one IS bad.  Because shame is internalized and attached to our very way of being-in-the-world rather than being circumstantial we, as humans, have developed elaborate and deeply entrenched strategies aimed at minimizing its pain. Continue reading