Tag Archives: adult attachment

Still Face Experiment

Humans are wired for connection.  We develop emotional resilience and stress tolerance from our earliest experiences with our primary caregivers.  These caregivers also help orient us to the world.  Research now indicates that we carry our earliest attachment patterns from infancy into adulthood for better or for worse. Continue reading

Breaking the Shame Cycle

shameBreaking the Shame Cycle

Unlike guilt, where one feels one has DONE something bad, shame is the feeling that one IS bad.  Because shame is internalized and attached to our very way of being-in-the-world rather than being circumstantial we, as humans, have developed elaborate and deeply entrenched strategies aimed at minimizing its pain. Continue reading

The Myth of Codependency

Holding Hands South Lake Union TherapyThe Myth of Codependency

“Dependency is not a holdover from childhood; it is constitutive of desire for a real other person.” – Stephen Mitchell.  (Author of, “Can Love Last: The Fate of Romance Over Time.)

Codependency is a term originally coined decades ago to describe the enabling relationships between addicts and those close to them.  It is still a valuable concept within that context but, unfortunately, codependency has become the cultural buzzword used to describe troubled relationships in all their myriad forms. Continue reading