Gaslighting has become a hot topic lately, largely as a result of the current state of politics and the media. We live in a time where facts have almost become irrelevant to the point that we are becoming disoriented on a national level. What is playing out in this larger context is not an uncommon occurrence in many unhealthy relationships. Continue reading
In my practice, over the years, I have noticed that may of my clients who are most successful in the workplace were parentified children who spend their lives trying to live up to impossible levels of perfectionism that leave them feeling perpetually insecure and overworked.
This article from The Harvard Business Review is the first I’ve seen explicitly addressing the way companies often take advantage of employee’s insecurities to help them achieve success. Work-life balance suffers.
“…these individuals are immensely attractive to elite professional organizations because they are entirely self-motivating and self-disciplining.”
Our lives and careers are filled with examples of inauthentic behavior. We feign interest in meetings or laugh at our boss’s bad jokes in order to be positive team members, build relationships, and accomplish shared goals. This is how we get along—and it is how some of us get ahead.
“A recent study links extended work availability with decreased calmness, mood, and energy levels. By looking at industries from technical services to nursing, the study evaluated the effects of being on-call — that is, not at work, but being expected to remain available by phone for questions or customer requests. Continue reading
Procrastination is a topic that comes up often in my practice. Successful professionals well-versed in time management and theories of organization come in searching for answers and strategies to address delayed action in some key areas of their lives. Continue reading
A recent New York Times article explores how the current U.S. work culture reflects a greater balance in gender relations but has also created an untenable work-life imbalance as pressure to succeed and even just keep up is forcing both genders to neglect domestic life and caretaking functions that were once the nearly sole province of women.
“FOR many Americans, life has become all competition all the time. Workers across the socioeconomic spectrum, from hotel housekeepers to surgeons, have stories about toiling 12- to 16-hour days (often without overtime pay) and experiencing anxiety attacks and exhaustion.”
This is one of the best articles on addiction I’ve read in a long time. It echoes what I have seen and experienced around attachment and safety the lengths to which humans will go to find comfort in their absence. Continue reading
Of all the books I have read recently, these are my favorites.
What I liked most about Coming Apart is the author’s framing of “failed” relationships not as failures but as developmental tools which promote growth and awareness.
“A man’s work is one of the most important parts of his social identity, of his self, indeed of his fate, in the one life he has to live.” – Everett C. Hughes, Sociologist
In addition to work being a major source of self-esteem and self-identity, work is also the key to our material and physical safety. Without work, we could not afford food, housing, or care for our families. Because we rely on our jobs to fill such important needs, this can often make us vulnerable to what is increasingly being recognized as “Corporate Stockholm Syndrome.” Continue reading
“Snakes in Suits” is a book for anyone experiencing workplace stress and trauma as a result of interpersonal conflict with a manager or coworker who is narcissistic, manipulative and callous. While this person may not be technically psychopathic, they very well may have many of the destructive tendencies inherent in this personality disorder. Continue reading