Category Archives: Shame

E.M.D.R. Therapy. Does it Really Work?

E.M.D.R. (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) is just one of the many tools I use in my practice to more effectively help clients overcome issues such as traumatic events (both complex and single incident), negative thoughts, anxiety, and blocks preventing them from achieving their full potential. (Just to name a few.)  I’ve been seeing fairly dramatic results with some of my clients since incorporating this technique into my practice.

E.M.D.R. incorporates a good foundation of talk and trauma therapy protocols with relationship building and cognitive psychology It allows clients to use the natural healing powers of the brain to rewire distressing events.

This article in Scientific American does a good job of explaining both how E.M.D.R. works and some of the research behind the technique.

Gaslighting. Are you a Victim?

Gaslighting has become a hot topic lately, largely as a result of the current state of politics and the media.  We live in a time where facts have almost become irrelevant to the point that we are becoming disoriented on a national level.  What is playing out in this larger context is not an uncommon occurrence in many unhealthy relationships.   Continue reading

Victim-Rescuer-Perpetrator Triangle

“The adult survivor of abuse enacting the Victim-Rescuer-Perpetrator triangle is emotionally locked into the child logic of the locus of control shift.  The core belief, ‘I am bad,’ gives license to play victim (bad things happen to me because I am bad) or perpetrator (I am bad because I do bad things)  rescuer (I am all powerful and so if I try hard enough I can make everything right in my world).” –“Trauma Model Therapy: A Treatment Approach for Trauma, Dissociation and Complex Comorbidity”- Colin A Ross,, M.D., and Naomi Halpern, CQSW.

The Enemy Within- The Power of Self-Acceptance

kirk-shadow-self

I just finished re-watching the sixth episode of the first season of the original Star Trek (if you count the pilot.) It does a fair job of illustrating the basics regarding the dangers of non-acceptance and non-integration of the shadow-self with the persona. These are terms Carl Jung used largely to replace Freud’s terms, “conscious” and “subconscious.” (The persona being the self we tend to show the world- often our “best” attributes- while the shadow-self is largely unconscious and comprised of aspects of ourselves that society, culture or family have told us are “bad.”)  If explored, accepted and integrated the shadow-self provides us with much of our creative energy and power.  In this particular episode, an alter ego of Kirk is sent back with the original Kirk to the SS Enterprise when the transporter malfunctions. Continue reading

Teaching Men to Be Emotionally Honest

Men and Emotions South Lake Union TherapyFor many years I have been speaking to the increasing shift in traditional gender roles and the ways in which this shift is altering the power differential between the sexes.  In my practice, I see these changes manifest in a variety of new and interesting ways, both adaptive and maladaptive.  My work is primarily with men and this latest New York Times article gives a comprehensive overview of the very real and immediate need to foster and accept emotional vulnerability in men for the sake of their health and success.

“Last semester, a student in the masculinity course I teach showed a video clip she had found online of a toddler getting what appeared to be his first vaccinations. Off camera, we hear his father’s voice. “I’ll hold your hand, O.K.?” Then, as his son becomes increasingly agitated: “Don’t cry!… Aw, big boy! High five, high five! Say you’re a man: “I’m a man!”

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The Stability Network

The Stability NetworkThe Stability Network is a coalition of successful professionals who live, or have lived, with mental health conditions.   Continue reading

The Real Scoop on Narcissism from Cause to Lived Experience

Narcissism South Lake Union TherapyIn our culture, the term naricissist is used often, informally and carries a pejorative connotation.  Jari Chevalier’s podcast, Living Hero, examines narcissism from all angles and provides a more humanistic perspective on the clinical meaning of the word. Continue reading

Book Recommendations

Book Recommendations

Of all the books I have read recently, these are my favorites.

What I liked most about Coming Apart is the author’s framing of “failed” relationships not as failures but as developmental tools which promote growth and awareness.

Coming Apart South Lake Union Therapy

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