Category Archives: Male emotion and relationship topics

The State of Affairs

Ester Perel’s new book, “The State of Affairs” is a groundbreaking book on infidelity.  Most books on the topic either give advice on how to avoid an affair or deal with the difficult task of putting together a relationship in the aftermath of infidelity.  Ester, an expert on the intersection between desire and safety, acknowledges what most people would rather not- the reality that affairs can be BOTH transformative and destructive.  She uses her years of work as a couple’s therapist and researcher to delve into the fact that affairs are often not about what’s wrong at home but what’s missing internally. Continue reading

Teaching Men to Be Emotionally Honest

Men and Emotions South Lake Union TherapyFor many years I have been speaking to the increasing shift in traditional gender roles and the ways in which this shift is altering the power differential between the sexes.  In my practice, I see these changes manifest in a variety of new and interesting ways, both adaptive and maladaptive.  My work is primarily with men and this latest New York Times article gives a comprehensive overview of the very real and immediate need to foster and accept emotional vulnerability in men for the sake of their health and success.

“Last semester, a student in the masculinity course I teach showed a video clip she had found online of a toddler getting what appeared to be his first vaccinations. Off camera, we hear his father’s voice. “I’ll hold your hand, O.K.?” Then, as his son becomes increasingly agitated: “Don’t cry!… Aw, big boy! High five, high five! Say you’re a man: “I’m a man!”

Continue reading